On September 21st, 2005, the crime procedural Criminal Minds premiered on CBS. As with most things with a newfound(ish) cult following, the show premiered to mixed reviews—and by mixed, I mean primarily negative reviews.
And as with most things with a cult following – the show did become better as it went on – so long as you gave the first season a chance.
The show brings a subtle twist on the crime genre: these FBI agents investigate personalities rather than evidence. As members of the Behavioral Analysis Unit (BAU), they follow evidence. Still, their suspect (known as the Unsub on the show) is found by figuring out the ins and outs of their lives, as opposed to strictly black-and-white without-reason killings.
We’re first introduced to Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner (Thomas Gibson), a stoic husband and hard worker with a child on the way. He’s happily married to his wife and, as we find out throughout the rest of the season, to his work.
Next up is Jason Gideon (Mandy Patinkin), who is also stoic, not a husband, deeply connected to his work, and a pioneer of the Behavioral Analysis Unit.
We also meet Jennifer Jareau (AJ Cook), the media liaison for the FBI’s BAU, who is always, for some reason, in the field actively investigating instead of, you know, liaising. (We love her anyway.)
There’s Derek Morgan (Shemar Moore), the caring hunk who is very clearly the team’s muscle, and Spencer Reid (Matthew Gray Gubler), lanky, awkward, very clearly the team’s brains.
Finally, Elle Greenaway (Lola Glaudini), who is incredibly intelligent with a chip on her shoulder, and Penelope Garcia (Kirsten Vangsness), the department’s resident computer geek and light of the show, who is always there to make sure her teammates are taking care of themselves as well as the victims.
Despite Vangsness’s guest appearance throughout season one, she was finally made a series regular in season two and has been the only actor to stay with the show throughout its entire airing.
The show first aired as a 13-episode pilot season, and the first half of the season is roughly the same: brutal killers, teeny-tiny peeks into the agents’ personal lives, and a few here-and-there smiles from everyone on the team.
Unfortunately, as is the case with almost any show in its first season, Criminal Minds is pretty rough in terms of characterization in season one.
We learn small things, like that though Hotch is stoic, he smiles more than he’ll ever admit and that Elle is jaded and always feels it personally when it comes to sex crimes against women.
The season begins with Elle not officially being part of the team and ends with her being shot in her own home after the unsub they’re after decides to single her out. By the end of the season, we’ve learned a fair bit about Elle, but not enough to solidify her as a character with a highly lasting impact.
Additionally, by the end of season one, there’s still a lot left to be imagined regarding almost every other character. We learn that Gideon has a son, but not of what he’s doing or why Gideon isn’t in contact with him. We met Hotch’s brother and haven’t heard from him for several years afterward.
It feels like many other first seasons in a show that’s just getting going: loose ends are everywhere, left to be picked up in later seasons, and characters that are begging for your attachment but fail at earning your attachment after learning their parents’ names or siblings’ ages.
Something absurdly familiar in all crime dramas, but for some reason, especially Criminal Minds, is team members being hurt.
Enter me: the person who decided a rewatch of this 17-season show was necessary to determine a complete and accurate injury list.
Along with this injury list, displayed below, are some instances that happen unbelievably frequently on the show, so often that their categories need to be on the injury list itself.
We, of course, have our characters listed with their injuries and what episode this took place, and then our extra special bonus categories, as follows:
- Morgan or Hotch kicks down a door.
- Someone makes a poker joke.
- Someone has to change into bureau-appropriate clothes quickly.
- Local cops are annoyed when they call in the BAU.
| Character | Episode | Injury |
| Jason Gideon | 1×01 | Shot in the arm by unsub |
| 1×02 | Kidnapped by serial killer (flashback) | |
| 1×11 | Crutches from skydiving | |
| Elle Greenaway | 1×04 | Hit a couple of times by unsub |
| 1×09 | Punched in the face | |
| 1×22 | Shot by unsub | |
| Aaron Hotchner | 1×08 | Beat up |
| 1×16 | Several physical fights w/ cult members | |
| Spencer Reid | 1×05 | Pistol whipped by unsub |
| 1×05 | Beat up by his boss 🙁 | |
| 1×10 | Tackled by Morgan | |
| Derek Morgan | 1×04 | Tasered by unsub |
| 1×07 | Slashed with a knife by unsub | |
| Jennifer Jareau | ||
| Penelope Garcia | ||
| Emily Prentiss | ||
| David Rossi | ||
| Tara Lewis | ||
| Luke Alvez | ||
| Matt Simmons | ||
| Alex Blake | ||
| Kate Callahan | ||
| Stephen Walker | ||
| Ashley Seaver | ||
| Jordan Todd | ||
| *Morgan or Hotch kicks down a door | 1×07 x2!, 1×08, 1×12, 1×16, 1×17, 1×18, 1×22, | |
| *Someone makes a poker joke | 1×12 | |
| *Local cops are annoyed when they call in the BAU | 1×22 | |
| Hit a couple of times by unsub | 1×05, 1×10, 1×17, 1×19 |
Rating: 6/10. I am incredibly grateful for good acting in a season of near-nothingness.
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